Have you ever returned to your home and found that your four-legged shit princess has left you a present on the carpet? It's a stinky mess she can't clean up and you wonder why you feed this creature in the first place. Well, it's a helpless puppy and if babies are worse, then I should expect to recieve negative sleep in the (telescopic) future. I mean this little monster has pissed on my workshop stories- ...which is fine cuz about 80% of my classmates had the same comments and I contoured them to a separate note.
...so
I had hippy hair. A little more than shoulder length until yesterday, now it's half an inch and I have no eyebrows. Me? I shave to relieve stress. I'm just gonna tell my classmates there was a fat seed in the joint.
-anyway
This puppy shows promise of being a good dawg. Someday we shall hunt together, running through the woods or plains and tackling a herbivore of some kind. The dog, the dog will go for the jugular, as I attempt to gouge out the eyes of our prey. Maybe I'll kick its knees in sideway. I don't want to use a weapon, just an ally. Oh, and I want to eat some meat, on this point I am usually clearly nature's responce to vegetarians.
...I'm tempted to eat a vegetarian, I really am. My sidekick is a puppy afterall and much better at catching dears than deer.
Perhaps for tonight, I shall retire. My canine friend, passed out in what appears to be mid-trot, has the right idea.
broken dream's toro de 'ard' -tell me if anyone get's that

In the beginning…
God sent the first dogs down from the heavens to warn man of the arrival of Satan’s apprentice minions, the cats.
For a respectable period of time, the canine angels had warded off the of cats with a barking frequency tailored to mankind’s ears as a beacon of danger, often times pursuing their mortal enemy into the trees, where they were too timid to do harm to man.
Then one day, a particularly clever cat caught the attention of a puppy who engaged him at a glance, routing his advances to “The Tree.”
Eve, the first woman, irrational and impulsive, took sympathy with the cat, who had cast a spell on her, making her subconscious relate the dogs’ persistent onslaught on the feline rabble with Adam’s incorrigible sexual drive.
The snake was simply there, doing what he did.
Since then, the cats had learned only that through women could they hurt men. It took them some time to perfect this, as the snake promptly ate the clever old cat for being in his tree, then slithered on down to Hell, vomiting up the cat after its own stomach had been digested and the snake could no longer take the smell of fish and wet cat inside itself. So join the cat’s descendents all likewise, disemboweled in Hell.
For centuries after the fall of man, the cats continued to corrupt humanity, luring the great pharaohs of Egypt into incestuous paganism and bleeding the ears of all within the vicinity of their mating.
The dogs faithfully declined to return to Heaven and fell with their masters, eventually having to be harnessed again and re-instilled with their shining loyalty.
Until The Lion King and the unrelated invention of neko-girl hentai, the notion of felines had only ever done harm to man and altered history to put the Swiss out of a decent mouse-trapping enterprise.
The best method of combating cats is to drop safes on them. This is because, the cat martial arts are no good against a metal box that doesn’t care about a few insignificant scratches and more importantly the diamonds in the safe will make you less hideous enough that most women will overlook the cat.
Contribute to the canine-anthropoid alliance today. Give your neighbor’s cat the garden-hose.

I would like this emo thing that punk turned into if it didn't turn punk into...

God I hate to be a boy..
Boys have balls,
that make us stupid..
If I had a pussy,
what I'm saying
would be relevant.

(chorus)
I've got a vagina,
under my balls.
I've got a vagina
that's deep inside.

It's in these tight pants.
Just give me a chance.
I'm just a human,
I'm more than stupid.

...and so on...

it's not a real song, but only cuz I'll never sell these ridiculous words, that you will never hear on the radio, thanks to me... you're welcome.

Fuck the world.

Hide for yourself a flask in a small box for baby shoes. Cuz if someone steals your baby's shoes, they need it more than you.